WTH?!?! I need to get in control...

So, I realize for the fifth time in the past year, that I need to gain control over my hideous weight problem. I am out shopping with the fam at the post when my father comes over to get me to show me a "nice suit" to see if I want it. He goes on and on about how sharp I would look and how all of the pieces are there (jacket, pants, skirt) and how good the suit feels (it is camel hair). I get to the rack with this suit on it and indeed, I would look sharp in it. Indeed all of the pieces to the suit are there. Indeed it did feel smoother than any other suit I have felt in life...I have to either getsomething made from camel hair or get a camel because it was smooth..but I digress. The one thing WRONG with the suit and the whole picture...it was a size 16!! I was so hurt but I tried on the jacket anyway to show him how utterly HUGE the thing is on me and to save face a bit. Do I look like I wear a freaking size 16 to the male population?!?!?! No offense to those who wear a size 16 or greater but just imagine someone coming up to you and asking you to look at an item that is 3-4 sizes larger than what you actually wear. I was cool at that moment with my father but I keep having flashbacks and I am more determined than ever. I have done well today with my eating and I plan to do some exercising when I make it into the house tonight. I will atleast move for 15 minutes if nothing else! Some squat and some jumping jacks and some push-ups. Sounds grrrrrrreat!

Also, to top things off, I have discovered that I CAN NOT maintain my blubberiness eating what I want as stated on my last post. Woe is me...5 pounds back on my hips. Some of it may be pms bloating which is also contributing to my emotional state (the pms that is) but I am sure it is my diet of french fries and ice cream catching up to me. :(

Current Weight: 160 pounds
Weight loss so far: 2 pounds
Biggest Temptation: Fast food - especially cheeseburgers and french fries!
My treat: Everything I have eaten lately has been a treat but my biggest food sin - eggnog
My best discovery: I can eat more than I could handle if I would just eat the RIGHT FOODS

These are my CONFESSIONS

I have been on here for the past hour reading over all of the other weight loss blogs I have come across and now I sit here asking myself, 'Why can't that be me?!?!' What am I not doing right? Okay, okay. I know what it is. I have not been on a strict "diet" since school started and I eat late and I eat big when I do eat. Fast food has been my friend in my fast life and then if it isn't that it is some type of snack cake or something that fits easily into what little room is left in my bag or what ever will be able to withstand the varying temperature in my car from day to day. Not to mention anything that I can also share with my daughter should she be with me and happen to be hungry in a spot where I can not afford to pop open my shirt. (I tried feeding her baby carrots and I almost had an aneurysm when she started choking on a little piece she bit off. No more carrots unless they are mushy!) Anyway, that is why I have not lost any more weight and why I have actually gained some of what I had lost back. I have been hovering at 155 lbs for some time. I know if I were to get serious about watching what I eat and exercising I could do it but that is everyone right?!?! I want a magic potion to drink; something that will work overnight with no adverse effects. Fantasy, right? I know. I am too lazy. I am too tired. I have no motivation. No one is looking at me besides me and I guess I am content with where I am in some alternate universe so I have no motivation. I am not looking for a man so I don't feel pressured there. I see everyone's progress and I an genuinely proud of and happy for them but I can't see where they get the motivation from especially after many months of working out and planning meals and counting calories. It is a life change I know. So does that mean my life is bad?!?! Okay, now I am depressing myself - all 155 lbs of me...

Current Weight: 155 pounds
Weight loss so far: 7 pounds ( from 162 lbs - I am starting from where I plateaued with the weight loss from the baby)
Biggest Temptation: Fast food
My treat: Everything I have eaten lately has been a treat!
My best discovery: I can maintain my blubberiness eating what I want.