Master Cleanser...NO! UPDATED!!
I had the bright idea that I was going to clean out my colon and start "fresh" for the New Year. I did some research on the benefits of colon cleansing and became all the more interested and determined. Well, since Miss B-yonce decided the do the Master cleanse program to lose weight (it is really a cleansing and not a weight loss thing) that was what kept popping up in my google search. I read about it and only saw a few bad things. Most of the comments were very good especially for those who were doing it for the right reason. this is also known as the "Lemonade Diet".
The recipe for one day (Mix enough according to how much water you normally drink in a day or should drink in a day for those of you who are anti-water)
Recipe:
60 oz water per day (or 10 oz per glass)
12 tablespoons Organic Grade B Maple Syrup (or 2 tbsp. per glass)
12 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (or 2 tbsp. per glass)
a little over half a teaspoon of cayenne pepper (or 1/10 tsp. per glass)
I took cayenne pepper capsules from GNC (I have them and have been taking them since I was in my body building mode pre-baby - no I DID NOT take them while pregnant! I also did not add the maple syrup because, hey, I love water and lemon is adding enough wrong to it so why then add syrup?!?!? It is just to sweeten it and knock out the cayenne pepper taste as far as I am concerned. Oh and maybe for some energy too but I substituted Green Vibrance for energy and to ensure that I was getting all of my nutrients. I drank that seperately though. They have capsules for that as well and I might get those because the taste is definitely an aquired one.
Anyway heard of or tried this before?!?! Well, I tried yesterday. I woke up and started out well. I got through work fine, sipping on my concotion. I got home and was fine even with all of the aromas and food sitting around. I even picked up so food for my brother in law and did not touch a single fry. I guess the whole experience was more like fasting to my inner self so at sun down my body then went nutso and slapped me and said "woman, get me some food!!" I almost passed out trying to go upstairs at about 555 pm. After my lightheaded almost tumble down the stairs, I decided it was correct, food was in order. I made a turkey and cheese sandwich and had a few chips with it. Within 2 minutes of finishing my food, my stomach was knotted up. I raced upstairs and sat down on the toilet just in time and I stayed there for about 30-40 minutes and had to repeat about 30 minutes after that. I am telling you, it was the worse. I am not sure if it was the Green Vibrance (it was my first time drinking it although I have heard about people who swear by it) or if it was the Master Cleanse thing or a combination of the two. Whatever it was, these pipes are clean! I DO NOT want to experience that again I really do not think I could have done that (the potty experience) for 10 days. Also, if that is what B-yonce went through for however long to lose all of that weight then I would have HATED to be around her at all! I am sure she was funky! :)
Current Weight: 158 pounds
Weight loss so far: 4 pounds
Biggest Temptation: Ice Cream!
My treat: Coffee
My best discovery: Nothing
UPDATE: Not 2 minutes after I finished writing this post, I had to go to the bathroom again! Same degree of urgency...same...stuff. Well, Just as I am rounding the last corner, there is a big knock on the door. It is maintenance people wanting to come in to do some work. They say they will wait for me to come out and I hear them outside the door so I have to get up to leave for fear of embarrassing myself even more. The knock scared the mess out of me so I was shaking at this point and using my toilet tissue to try and disperse the master cleanse odor (MCO). I still felt the urge to go but not as urgent as before so I pack up my video game, my badge and my keys to go, wash my hands and decide to try and sneak out the door on the other side of the bathroom to avoid the maintenance man and his inevitable look when he gets a whiff of the MCO. Well, I walk out and straight into a pair of stilts with a huge older black man on top of them, arms crossed staring down at me. I almost crapped in my pants and fainted. I have a HUGE fear of clowns (they wear stilts sometimes you know) and of anything that either towers over me or could come running at my knees. Pretty much, anything that would cause me to have to shift my center of gravity too much. I freaked out and started to run back in the bathroom but instead just took off down the hall and into the first unlocked door. Being that today is an official government holiday hardly anyone is here except the contract workers so I thought I was safe. Oh well, hopefully they will leave soon should the urge hit me again. Of course, I refuse to try and eat anything right now...water will do.
The recipe for one day (Mix enough according to how much water you normally drink in a day or should drink in a day for those of you who are anti-water)
Recipe:
60 oz water per day (or 10 oz per glass)
12 tablespoons Organic Grade B Maple Syrup (or 2 tbsp. per glass)
12 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (or 2 tbsp. per glass)
a little over half a teaspoon of cayenne pepper (or 1/10 tsp. per glass)
I took cayenne pepper capsules from GNC (I have them and have been taking them since I was in my body building mode pre-baby - no I DID NOT take them while pregnant! I also did not add the maple syrup because, hey, I love water and lemon is adding enough wrong to it so why then add syrup?!?!? It is just to sweeten it and knock out the cayenne pepper taste as far as I am concerned. Oh and maybe for some energy too but I substituted Green Vibrance for energy and to ensure that I was getting all of my nutrients. I drank that seperately though. They have capsules for that as well and I might get those because the taste is definitely an aquired one.
Anyway heard of or tried this before?!?! Well, I tried yesterday. I woke up and started out well. I got through work fine, sipping on my concotion. I got home and was fine even with all of the aromas and food sitting around. I even picked up so food for my brother in law and did not touch a single fry. I guess the whole experience was more like fasting to my inner self so at sun down my body then went nutso and slapped me and said "woman, get me some food!!" I almost passed out trying to go upstairs at about 555 pm. After my lightheaded almost tumble down the stairs, I decided it was correct, food was in order. I made a turkey and cheese sandwich and had a few chips with it. Within 2 minutes of finishing my food, my stomach was knotted up. I raced upstairs and sat down on the toilet just in time and I stayed there for about 30-40 minutes and had to repeat about 30 minutes after that. I am telling you, it was the worse. I am not sure if it was the Green Vibrance (it was my first time drinking it although I have heard about people who swear by it) or if it was the Master Cleanse thing or a combination of the two. Whatever it was, these pipes are clean! I DO NOT want to experience that again I really do not think I could have done that (the potty experience) for 10 days. Also, if that is what B-yonce went through for however long to lose all of that weight then I would have HATED to be around her at all! I am sure she was funky! :)
Current Weight: 158 pounds
Weight loss so far: 4 pounds
Biggest Temptation: Ice Cream!
My treat: Coffee
My best discovery: Nothing
UPDATE: Not 2 minutes after I finished writing this post, I had to go to the bathroom again! Same degree of urgency...same...stuff. Well, Just as I am rounding the last corner, there is a big knock on the door. It is maintenance people wanting to come in to do some work. They say they will wait for me to come out and I hear them outside the door so I have to get up to leave for fear of embarrassing myself even more. The knock scared the mess out of me so I was shaking at this point and using my toilet tissue to try and disperse the master cleanse odor (MCO). I still felt the urge to go but not as urgent as before so I pack up my video game, my badge and my keys to go, wash my hands and decide to try and sneak out the door on the other side of the bathroom to avoid the maintenance man and his inevitable look when he gets a whiff of the MCO. Well, I walk out and straight into a pair of stilts with a huge older black man on top of them, arms crossed staring down at me. I almost crapped in my pants and fainted. I have a HUGE fear of clowns (they wear stilts sometimes you know) and of anything that either towers over me or could come running at my knees. Pretty much, anything that would cause me to have to shift my center of gravity too much. I freaked out and started to run back in the bathroom but instead just took off down the hall and into the first unlocked door. Being that today is an official government holiday hardly anyone is here except the contract workers so I thought I was safe. Oh well, hopefully they will leave soon should the urge hit me again. Of course, I refuse to try and eat anything right now...water will do.
posted by KMF at 7:25 AM
20 comments
